This series of work was created throughout my residency at the Bunkhouse at the Saskatoon Forestry Farm and Zoo. The first component of the residency focused on research centred around themes of healing, growth and navigating through trauma. I referenced a wide variety of books, resources, podcasts, and articles to better understand the effects of trauma and methods of recovery.  I did this while focusing on self-care alongside support from an excellent team of professionals including a psychologist, physiotherapist, and naturopath – among several others. This allowed me to better understand how trauma has impacted my mind, body and nervous system. By prioritizing my illness, wellness and self, I am able to decrease my chronic mental and physical pain.

Influenced by my research and healing journey, I wrote a series of auto-fiction stories based on truth but filtered through my lens of perception and occasionally altered to protect parts of myself. Although I struggle with writing as self-expression, I find it beneficial to understand myself. Through writing, I can break down overwhelming topics into manageable pieces. I am able to step back, take space and see myself with more clarity and compassion. My usual process is to paint intuitively with not much thought about what I am making. Afterwards, I find the meaning in the work and there are always ties to other areas of my life. For this series, I did it the other way around. It was a much more challenging procedure but yielded some powerful, cathartic results.

Unlike writing, working in visual arts has been enjoyable and intuitive. Over the past 12 years, I have focused on recovery and active self-care, with art-making as a central pillar of my journey. When I am not well I create artwork to soothe myself; This work is a refuge - a place for me to release energy and calm my mind. When I am doing better mentally, I create expressive, personal pieces; This work is significant and helps me understand myself. I’ve always felt like they were separate processes, and that one was more valuable than the other, but I understand that they cannot exist separately. Both methods support me and allow me to release tension in different ways. I understand myself better, through my work.